A Loveless Cycle
by writerspassion18
Summary: Hermione had never felt colder in Draco's arms than she did right at that moment. And every time Hermione made a move to climb out of bed, Draco's face nuzzled her neck and he sleepily pleaded with her not to go.
1. Sleepless

Hermione had never felt colder in Draco's arms than she did right at that moment. With every shiver her body gave, the tighter his unconscious hands grew, and the more shivers she emitted. Sleep evaded her. Her heart ached. And every time Hermione made a move to climb out of bed, Draco's face nuzzled her neck and he sleepily pleaded with her not to go.

But it had been so easy to do so earlier that day?

Hermione choked back her emotions as she slid her hand over Draco's. It had been resting around her stomach as it always was when they went to bed. She let her fingers slip in between his and they reflexively squeezed hers. It was amazing really, what his body did when he wasn't in control of it. It knew every need of hers and performed them exquisitely. But with Draco at the helm –his fears, his self-image, his uncanny ability to turn everything that _she_ _does_ as a reflection of who _he is_ –he couldn't love her the way that he said he did.

Hermione had once lost her friends for him. She risked all that she knew for a "rat-faced bastard," as one of them had so eloquently put it; all because she saw something in Draco that no one else could see. She saw a twisted man in all sense of the word. He was deadly when he needed to be. He was stealthy no matter what. And the same way he commanded a wand, he had commanded every action with Hermione that had led her down a path her heart couldn't (unfortunately) ignore.

Draco had not wanted her. But despite all efforts to steer clear of the woman he had deemed untouchable for most of his life, he had gravitated towards her nonetheless. Hermione had found herself backed into a corner, literally, with Draco scowling at her in a way that his mouth couldn't possibly produce without pain. She had dared him that day. She had dared him to say that he hated her. To call her a mudblood or some other insult in order to turn right-side up the world that his presence had careened out of control. Draco had done what she had asked, but not before kissing her feverishly and cursing afterwards.

And now here they were as always and had always been for the past year. In bed. In Malfoy Manor. Except this time Hermione was realizing that she was in love with a man who was in love with himself more.

Hermione couldn't take it. Despite the warmth emanating from Draco's shirtless torso, the smell of his expensive cologne, or the fact that his soft breath was coaxing her into a now unwanted rest, Hermione detangled herself from his arms and stared at him.

Her moving didn't wake him. The bedsheets had slipped down to her waist and so did the straps of her nightgown. She embarrassing pulled up the straps one by one, memories flashing across her eyes at how earnestly Draco had peeled them away during the night. She slowly rubbed her hands up her arms and over her shoulders, her eyes closed and recalling how sweetly Draco had done the same. And how calmly he had kissed her collarbone. And how teasingly his lips had glided up her neck. And how maliciously he had let his tongue do a dance just behind her ear, finishing with kiss of her earlobe and whispering, "You're mine now."

It was these actions that made her love him and that clashed with what was making her hate him. Hermione pathetically whimpered as she crawled out of bed. The air was numbing. She let her toes curl onto the lush carpet as she took small, slow steps to the French doors she didn't open and that led to the balcony. She stood there for what felt like a millennia. She was so lost within herself that she didn't hear the bed squeak. And the floor was covered in such luxury that they masked her lover's footsteps. Hermione gasped as Draco's hands wrapped around her body and his head rested on the crook of her neck.

"Come back to bed." Draco said softly. Hermione was weak at the knees. It didn't help that his hands were caressing her as he held her close. She leaned her head to the side in an attempt to block him out. It was a careless mistake –to leave such flesh exposed. Draco, the ever opportunist that he was, took advantage of that and nibbled as gently as he could.

"No," Hermione replied. It sounded neither as stern nor as rebellious as she was hoping it would. Instead it came out as a childish whine that made Draco laugh.

"Why not?" He asked. He was cradling her now, imperceptibly rocking their bodies side to side as a parent would their newborn.

Hermione took a deep, calculated breath. She kept her eyes straight ahead at the scenery outside. The big, bright moon in the sky. The countless stars. The countryside that Malfoy Manor lay. And the garden that Draco had put in place just for her so that she could have something breathtaking to look at.

"I don't sleep with hypocrites."

It was that that made Draco let go.

Hermione turned around freely and stared at Draco's bemused face. It didn't stay surprised for very long. Instead it morphed into a somber one as he casted his gaze to the ground out of either annoyance, guilt, or both.

"I did what I had to, Hermione. You know that."

"What you had to?" Hermione repeated, utterly flabbergasted. "You saw your friends coming and you literally _pushed_ me away! You don't push people you love away."

"And if it had been Potter and Weasley?" Draco challenged. "What would you have done?"

"What _would_ I have done, or what I _have_ done?" She shot back at him. "I blindly followed you, Draco. Despite what my friends said, what strangers said, whoever. I've fought my battle for you, but you've barely lifted up your wand or even a shield for me."

"It's not the same, and you know it." Draco said firmly. He grumbled as he walked away from Hermione and to the other side of the bedroom to turn on the light. When he faced her again, Hermione took in a different Draco than the one she had just been sleeping with. The previously angelic Slytherin now mimicked the emblem of his House with narrow eyes and pursed lips. And even then Hermione felt attracted to the terrible beast that could easily rip her to shreds.

"Why do you do this?" Draco asked Hermione with a shrug of his shoulders. "You always ask for things you can never have. You can't have my life, Hermione."

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. "I never asked for that. I'm asking for you to accept me into it."

"Same thing,"

" _No,_ it's not." Hermione replied indignantly. "I'm asking you to take the love for me you have caged within these walls _outside_. You can't love me _in here_ and then change your mind when you're _out_ _there_. It doesn't work like that. It can't."

Draco paused. He stared at Hermione intently and swallowed deeply. "…Would you leave me?"

It was Hermione's turn to swallow deeply. "I don't want to."

"That's not what I asked you."

"…Yes, I would."

Draco stood quietly. His pallor had grown whiter and sickly at her answer and Hermione gazed at him in awe. She had been holding herself all the while they were talking, but she got up the nerve to move. Hermione took her time in walking over to Draco. He had seemed blind to the fact that she had crossed the room and only registered that she was near when Hermione placed her hands on his cheeks. Draco placed his hands over hers and rested his forehead on her own.

"Don't leave me." Draco pleaded as he intertwined his fingers with hers. Hermione sighed and closed the space between them.

"Give me a reason to stay." Hermione asked of him.

It wasn't the fact that Draco paused that made Hermione back away from him. It was the fact that he paused and then, shortly after that, he shook his head. With horror Hermione wasted no time. She ignored her name being called. She shrugged off the innumerable times Draco grabbed her hand or wrist. She fled the bedroom and went to the nearest fireplace. Simply in her nightgown Hermione took a handful of Floo Powder and half-yelled her destination. The last images she had of Malfoy Manor was a flutter of green and Draco bursting through the lounge's doors and attempting to stop her from leaving.

Hermione found herself stumbling out of her fireplace at home, her shin hitting into her coffee table and causing her to hobble around pitifully. She cried aloud in pain and then soon after that cried for real. "He can love no one but himself," Hermione recalled various friends saying. She hadn't wanted to believe it. She had hoped that he would love her more. Obviously she was wrong.

Hermione tutted disapprovingly at herself and began to make her way towards her bedroom. She was in the hallway when she heard her fireplace come to life. She had hoped that she could make it to her bedroom and magically lock it after her in time, but a soot-filled hand had caught hers. Draco pulled her close to him. He messily wiped his hands on his pants and then placed them on the back of Hermione's neck.

"I love you, Hermione." Draco said to her as he searched her face. "I love you, and _that's_ a reason to stay."

"No, it's not..." Hermione was saying, but her words fell off as Draco kissed her. She was pinned between him and the wall and had nowhere to go. The wall felt cold, but Draco warmed her front. As the sweetness of his kiss melted into fervor, Hermione's mind flashed back to yesterday. They had been walking down Diagon Alley, happy and holding hands.

The gentlemanly kiss that Draco had planted on her forehead that day was nothing compared to the passion that he was kissing her with now. That day he was kind, carefree, and was laughing at their friendly debate. Now he was determined and focused. Hermione bit back a terrible moan as Draco held her hands and his mouth moved expertly from her lips to just below her collarbone.

That day they had walked calmly through the streets. Now Hermione found herself being lifted up from the ground, her arms wrapped around Draco's neck and her legs around his waist as he carried her further down the hallway.

That day everything had been fine until Draco spotted his friends further up the street and walking towards him. How quickly he had let slip his affection for Hermione and shoved her away from him, causing her to stumble into an alley and be out of sight from his peers. Now Draco smoothly set Hermione down on the bed, taking the time to carefully move loose strands of hair from her face and stare into her eyes with a smile.

On that despicable day, Hermione had stood in the alley ashamed. Not just because Draco had set their love aside for people he put on a higher pedestal than her, but because she had done nothing. She had simply stood in the alley, an obedient girlfriend, and waited until his friends had bid their hellos and passed. Now Hermione took her anger out on him and bit Draco's lip when he kissed her again. Where he was gentle, she was not. And when he whispered sweet nothings, she screamed obscenities.

At the end of it all, Hermione found herself in the same situation she had back in Draco's bed at Malfoy Manor when they had argued over the same matter. Amidst sweet cologne, warm breaths, and tight arms, Hermione felt cold.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Hello to those who have read some of my stuff and those who haven't :). This is one of those lovely one-shots that came out of the blue at 3 a.m. but also while listening to the song "Something I Said" by Safety Suit. I'm _very_ tempted to add to this and make it more than just a one-shot, but for now I'll keep it like this. Be on the lookout just in case :)

Reviews welcome!

-WP


	2. Apologies

Hermione woke up in the morning with her face buried in the crook of Draco's neck. She also noted ruefully that neither one of them were clothed. She was angry with herself for succumbing to his groping hands, soft touch, and tender kisses when she had been utterly furious with him. Quite frankly she still was. But as her eyes gazed at the blonde man's serene face and she became consciously aware of how close he was holding her, and how his head rested on hers, her anger waned. Draco Malfoy was Draco _bloody_ Malfoy. He could have anyone that he wanted. And yet it was in her bed that he lay. It was she that he closed the night with without fail. How could she stay upset?

Images from the day prior fought to challenge her thinking, but before Hermione could detangle herself from him yet again Draco's body twitched. She knew he was awake before he spoke and relished the feel of his hands on her back.

"Still mad at me?"

Hermione could make a living off of how many times he'd asked her that. She didn't answer him. Her silence was met with his shifting body as Draco adjusted himself in order to look in her in the face.

 _Damn…_ Hermione thought bitterly. Draco resembled a dog. It wasn't a derogatory characterization, but rather a comment on how his eyes were wide saucers and pleading for her to forgive him. She lowered her eyes to avoid his stare, but unfortunately was met with a view that pleased her. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"You have to go to work."

"I called out."

Hermione's eyes snapped to his quickly. "What do you mean you called out?"

Draco took in the red rising to her cheeks and the narrowing of her eyes. He smirked. "I mean that while you slept, I sent Ivy to deliver a message to my supervisor to tell him that I wouldn't be in today. I'll be spending the day with you and starting the work week tomorrow."

" _I_ have to work today."

"Did I forget to mention that Ivy made two trips this morning?"

A huff escaped Hermione's lips. "You're only doing this because I'm furious with you."

"Yes," Draco replied honestly. He kissed her forehead chastely and then rested his forehead on hers. "I don't like it when you're mad at me."

"I remember a time when that's exactly what you lived and breathed for."

Draco chuckled as he nuzzled his nose just behind Hermione's ear. She suppressed any sort of sound resembling satisfaction when his lips replaced his nose at that very spot. It had only taken him two months into their relationship to find out that that spot was her weakness. Since then it had played a very large role as his main arsenal.

"Let's just forget about yesterday, okay?" Draco whispered onto her skin. "Today's your day."

Draco's fingers were in her hair now, his thumb caressing her cheek. Hermione couldn't help the subtle moan that escaped her as he pulled her body closer to him. She had nearly forgotten that they were nude until he had done that. She sighed within herself. If there was one thing that Draco was good at, it was making her forget.

That "forgetting" took the better part of an hour. An hour and a half later they were both showered, dressed, and in Hermione's kitchen. She was sitting at her island countertop with the Daily Prophet in her hands while Draco was busily going at it with a pan on the stove and a spatula in his hand. Every once in a while Hermione's eyes fluttered up from her reading and to the "I hate muggle appliances" man in front of her. A smile slid onto her lips as she watched him go. It was as though he had grown up using a stove all his life and not having house elves feed him.

When Draco said that it was her day, she knew that he had meant it. She had had plenty of days dedicated to her after one of his foul-ups. They all varied from one another, but the theme was always the same: do what she likes. Today it was starting with breakfast made the muggle way and included all of her favorite breakfast foods.

"So, what happens after this?" Hermione asked as Draco placed several full dishes her way: a plate with eggs, pancakes, bacon, and sausages, a small bowl of oatmeal, another small bowl filled with strawberries, pineapple chunks, grapes and apple slices, a glass of orange juice, and a cup of tea.

There was absolutely no way for her to eat all of this, Draco knew, but he wanted her to have her options. He pulled a modest plate of pancakes and eggs in front of him and a cup a tea as he sat down. "I was thinking we could go to London. Take a taxi to get there since I know how much you like watching passing scenery. We'll shop anywhere you like and then go to the cinema after. Is that okay?"

Hermione had stopped mid-chew the moment the word "taxi" flew out of his mouth. She continued, finished, and stared at him bemused. "Wow… You really must be sorry. Especially if you're willing to step foot into, and I quote, 'a muggle deathtrap.'"

Draco smiled behind his cup of tea. It was working already; he could tell. Had she still her full force of anger she wouldn't have entertained him after waking up, nor would she be sitting so contentedly and eagerly devouring the breakfast he'd made. It wasn't over though. She was a blown out match with the embers still embedded. With the right conditions she could be roaring with rage again. It wouldn't be safe until Draco uttered the actual words, "I'm sorry." But until then he'd make sure she was swimming in everything that made her smile.

* * *

By mid-evening Hermione's hands were free while Draco's held five bags each filled with things that he had bought for her. As a wizard he could've shrunk them all and held them in his pockets, but being that they were in muggle London he had no choice but to carry them. Hermione could see a pained look threatening to emerge on his face at parading himself about as a whipped man. She on the other hand wore her satisfaction of the situation proudly. They were making their way to the apparation spot located just outside of the shopping center. When they got there Draco was all too pleased to have Hermione shrink all of her belongings and relieve him from his public display. Not to mention the bloody straps were dangerously cutting into his palms.

"Thank you for today, Draco."

"It was no problem." He replied with a smile as he flexed his hands. "I'd do anything for you, you know that."

Hermione's expression faltered. "…Almost anything…"

Draco frowned. He cupped her face with his hands and stared into her brown, watery eyes and sighed. "I really am sorry, Hermione."

"I know you are." She sighed as well and pursed her lips. "It's still early. I think I'll go see Ginny."

"Will you spend the night there?"

"I doubt it. Why?"

Draco swallowed nervously, letting his hands slide from her cheeks and down to her shoulders. "Because I was… Well, I'm hoping… Can I stay? At your house with you, I mean, tonight?"

Hermione cocked a brow in the air and then huffed. "My average bedroom instead of your lavish bedroom suite?" She smirked and laughed then, placing a kiss on his cheek. "You're sorry alright. I'll see you later, Draco."

Hermione slipped Draco's hands from off of her and then disapparated. She found herself in an open filed with the home that Ginny shared with Harry in her sight. Every time she came here she couldn't help but marvel at how much it looked like the Burrow. It made sense. It was the redheaded gang that helped to build in the first place. She smiled at the memory of it as she made her way to the front door. Some seconds after knocking the door opened and revealed the very redhead that she had come to see.

Ginny took in her friend's appearance before eventually settling on her face. With a cross of her arms she leaned on the doorframe and addressed her. "You look good for a sick person."

Hermione furrowed her brow. "Sorry?"

"I passed by St. Mungo's for an impromptu kidnapping during your lunch hour." Ginny explained. "Your supervisor said you were ill."

"Oh," Hermione nodded in comprehension as Ginny let her inside. "Sorry about that, Gin. It was Draco's doing. He took it upon himself to get me out of work today. We spent the day together."

"Hmm, well that's sweet of him. In a screwing with your paycheck kind of way, that is."

"I get paid a fixed monthly salary regardless of my hours, Ginny."

"You're ruining my point."

Although Ginny's remarks seemed crude they were all done with a smile. Hermione followed her into the kitchen where a pot of tea was started on. "So, what did you guys do?"

"We did a lot considering the time we woke and what time it is now." Hermione mused. "He made a splendid breakfast for starters. Then we headed into muggle London for a film and then some shopping."

"Oh, I see." Ginny said as she sat across from her. "By 'spent the day together' you meant that Malfoy used the day to apologize to you."

"Precisely,"

"Ah,"

Although Harry and Ron were adamant about not knowing what Hermione and Draco did in their spare time, Ginny was all ears. She wanted every detail from the sweet and innocent to the inappropriate and raunchy. It was her that Hermione spent most of her non-Draco time with lately. She was the only one who could compartmentalize. She saw Draco for who he was, loathed him appropriately, yet understood the fact that her dear friend loved him although she couldn't figure out why. Not that that meant she didn't try to pick the bookworm's head about it.

"And here I was thinking that the ferret was doing well." Ginny said nonchalantly. "He hasn't had to apologize for anything in a while. What's it been? Two weeks?"

"A month," Hermione corrected. Ginny's look of surprise was unmistakable and she nodded in approval.

"Not bad. Good thing we didn't bet on it or else I'd owe you money."

Hermione chuckled as Ginny tended to the tea. Once it was finished both women were contentedly sipping their cups as silence filled the room.

"What'd he do this time?"

"Practically shoved me into an alleyway when he saw his friends coming while we were in Diagon Alley."

"Bastard," Ginny grumbled. Her eyes lighted up then as she set her tea down. "You know, he _did_ push you. We can call it assault and have Harry arrest him!"

Hermione stared wide-eyed. "Ginny, be serious."

"I was." She grinned. Hermione rolled her eyes and raised her cup to her lips when Ginny stopped her. "You don't deserve to be treated like you're beneath him."

"He doesn't."

"What the hell do you call what happened with the alley then?"

"I call it cowardly." Hermione told her. She huffed and ran a hand through her hair. "Tell me. Of all the times Draco's thoroughly pissed me off beyond measure, what has it always been about?"

Ginny paused, thought for a second, and then sighed, realizing her friend's point. "His friends or family,"

" _Exactly_. He may not see or treat me or other muggleborns as worthless creatures, but _they do_. They're all that he knows and they'll disown him because of me –not that it's right." Hermione added, seeing that Ginny was ready to attack. "I nearly lost you, Harry, and Ron because of him. I took the chance because I knew you'd still love me despite my actions."

"And yet Malfoy knows what you've done and he refuses to go the extra mile himself."

"It's like I said," Hermione sighed as she picked back up her cup of tea. "Cowardly,"

"What will you do?" Ginny asked. "You certainly can't wait until everyone on his end dies out so that you two can have a happily ever after."

"I know. That's why I'm ending it. Tonight."

Ginny spat out her tea. Hermione had expected a reaction somewhere along those lines with exception of being covered in tea. Ginny apologized, whipping out her wand to clean her up as well as the counter.

"You can't be serious."

"I wish I wasn't. Despite that one character flaw he's utterly…perfect. But if I can't have all of him I don't want any of him. Yesterday was the final straw."

Ginny frowned. "He'll be devastated. Despite everything if there's one thing I can't fret about is the fact that he loves you."

Hermione sighed. "He'll be fine. He'll have his family and friends to pick up the pieces. He loves them more anyway."

* * *

 **Author's note:** To my lovely readers/reviewers, you only have yourselves to thank for another chapter :).

As I've mentioned before, my whole intention was just a simple one-shot highlighting a significant problem in Draco's and Hermione's relationship, but thanks to you guys I couldn't resist writing more. It'll be short, four chapters only, as I still want this to be a snapshot of one particular point in their lives. Regardless, I hope that you like the rest!

-WP


	3. Decisions

Since Hermione was going to be with Ginny for a few hours, Draco decided to head to Blaise's. Despite once having lived in a manor to compete with his own, Blaise opted for a high-rise loft just outside of the wizarding part of London. The loft itself was spacious and contained two floors. Filled with luxurious sofas and chairs, a fireplace, a stainless steel chef's kitchen, an open masters bedroom upstairs and a pool out on the balcony (just to name a few things). Blaise's loft was the epitome of bachelorhood. Draco was sure that the man would remain unwed simply to continue enjoying the comforts of home.

Draco quite liked where Blaise lived, especially the closed off area where they sat now. It held a bookcase on the back wall, a minibar, two cream sofas and an armchair, and a glass coffee table in the middle. It also allowed one to see across all of London through its massive bay window.

"Oi, I meant to ask you yesterday," Blaise said as he popped a cherry beetle into his mouth. "Why was the mudblood hiding in an alley?"

Draco tensed up and fidgeted in his seat as his eyes met his friend's. "Don't call her that."

Blaise arched a brow at his rigid form and let a smile come to his lips. "Ah, yes, I forgot. You get all twitchy when that word comes up."

"I don't get _twitchy_." Draco scowled. Blaise ignored him and prodded further.

"So…the alley? What gives?"

"…She…felt uncomfortable seeing you and the others."

" _Right…_ " Blaise chuckled. " _She's_ the one that felt uncomfortable."

Draco watched as Blaise picked up the bowl of cherry beetles that were on the minibar and sat down on his favorite armchair. The man absolutely loved cherry beetles. It took a near fifteen seconds of a half-stare, half-glare before Blaise rolled his eyes and tossed three over for Draco to catch one-handedly.

"She's never going to marry you, mate."

That comment rendered Draco's expert reflexes to falter as all three cherry beetles fell to the ground. "No one's talking about marriage."

"Never said you were. Just making an observation."

Draco huffed and used his wand to gather the fallen treats and clean them off. He ate two, not failing to take notice his best friend gazing intently at him. "Alright, humor me. Why wouldn't she?"

"Because she's not bloody stupid, that's why." Blaise laughed. Draco's look could kill him if he had the ability. "Granger may love you; that I don't doubt. Women rarely can resist the ole _Malfoy charm_. But she could never love you enough to subject herself to the crap that you put her through now as a wife in the future."

Draco's eyes narrowed. "The crap that _I_ put her through?"

"Alley, case and point. Not that I blame you, mate. It's just the way that it is. The world post-war maybe be different, but our society is not. We live in a world within a world that's as stagnant as ever. While the younger generation such as ourselves may not be outright muggleborn haters, years upon years of teachings from our elders can't be changed. The word 'mudblood' can roll off of our tongues so easily without thinking of its implications. And although we know a muggleborn can be as good as any pureblood, none of us would dare to knowingly date one. Well, except for you." Blaise added as an afterthought.

"Blood status aside, Granger's a catch, truly. Smart, pretty-faced, a body to kill for, and she can match, if not fully outmatch, wits with your sarcastic arse. But she'll never be accepted by us. I doubt she fears that or even cares. But I'm sure she knows that you do."

Draco sucked his teeth at Blaise's analysis. He chewed the last cherry beetle so mercilessly he could've sworn he heard the thing squealing. What did Blaise know anyway? He had just spat so much dribble anyone would think that it was _he_ who was dating Hermione instead. With a sigh Draco pushed his thoughts and the whole conversation aside. The clock behind Blaise read eleven p.m. and he had to go.

"Hermione's waiting for me."

Blaise inclined his head to him and set his precious bowl of cherry beetles aside. "Alright then. Oh and Draco,"

"What is it?" He paused. He had already made his way halfway to the front door. Blaise was hesitant. He forced a cough and then placed his hands lazily behind his head.

"For the record, I don't know about the other gals and blokes in your life, but concerning Granger… You needn't worry about me."

Draco didn't reply. He internalized his friend's words and left the loft. As it was a wizarding building he was able to disapparate from where he stood and directly into Hermione's home. At first he wasn't sure whether or not she was there, but eventually she came out of the hall that led to her bedroom.

It was clear that Hermione was surprised to see him. "I thought you weren't coming anymore."

"I would've written if I wasn't."

"True,"

The silence was palpable. Draco could sense that something was wrong as he stared at her. Hermione was tense. He could see it in not only her face but also the way that she carried herself. She looked like she wanted to tell him something and he had a feeling it wasn't going to be anything that he wanted to hear.

"Draco, please sit."

Definitely something he didn't want to hear. Regardless of that he did what she said. Hermione sat down as well but on the sofa opposite him. She was wringing her hands and interchanging the action with rubbing her hands on her thighs. Draco shifted himself to get up and comfort her, but she raised a hand to stop him.

"I… I've thought about this, I really have. But I can't… I can't do this anymore."

Draco's heart stopped. "Can't do _what_ anymore?"

Hermione took a deep breath. She had been avoiding Draco's gaze as she spoke but finally let her eyes meet his. "Us. I can't do _us_ anymore."

"Hermione-"

"Draco, yesterday was it for me. Out of everything you've done, yesterday hurt me the most. I simply can't continue to be with you if-"

"How can you do this?" Draco asked her. "For Merlin's sake, I said I was sorry!"

" _Sorry?_ " Hermione repeated. "A gourmet breakfast, a cab ride, a tacky film, and a shopping spree… You call that an apology? It's a bribe!"

Draco's nostrils flared as he rose to his feet. "You didn't seem to mind accepting my little _bribe_. You never do."

It was Hermione's turn for her nostrils to flare. She took deep, calculated breaths and then swallowed. "You're right. But now I'm giving them back."

Draco's anger wavered for a moment as Hermione ventured into her bedroom. He heard her moving about back there, shifting things, pulling things, until she reared with all of the bags that he had been carrying earlier that day. She dropped them at his feet and glared.

"There goes everything you bought me today."

His eyes didn't reach hers. He merely stared at the pile of bags that lay before him. He was about to speak when he was further surprised as a snow globe fell on top of the pile. It held moving photos of them from a date they had been on early in their relationship.

"That's from the time you called me _mudblood_ 'by mistake.'"

Draco looked up at her as Hermione went all about her house, picking up things from various locations and throwing them onto the ground. At each item, Draco's chest vibrated with shooting pains.

"Here's the charm bracelet you gave me when you refused to accompany me to the memorial dedication at St. Mungo's because you knew someone that worked there. And here's the necklace you bought me when you took _Parkinson_ to a benefit because taking me would make your father furious. Oh, and look! _Look_ , damn it."

Draco snapped his eyes to her at her words and now he felt sick. Hermione held open a photo album. It didn't hold photos but rather ticket stubs from various outings that they had taken. They had gone to a lot of them over the past year, but the ones in the album were dark, dark reminders.

"This is from the plane trip we took to China to make me forget that it 'wasn't a good idea' to attend your birthday party with your friends. And this one was from the non-enchanted train ride we took to France because we had to ditch dinner at the restaurant your parents happened to be sitting in at the moment. Oh, and this one-"

"Hermione, stop. _Please_ _stop_." Draco said as he pried the album away from her hands and tossed it onto the floor with the rest of the heart attack before him. He looked up at Hermione with red, stressed eyes and a hurt expression. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it."

"Yeah, me too." Hermione frowned. "I'm sorry that I stayed after every one of these moments. But I did because I'm a bloody optimist, thinking that maybe, _just maybe_ you'll wise up. That maybe you'd love me more than what people would see you as. But you never did. You never will."

"You don't know that."

"Prove me wrong then. And so help me if you say that you can't, then feel free to take your _apologies_ and go."

Draco had never felt so weak in his life. His eyes kept travelling to the pile below and her torn, angry face. He couldn't even swallow as his throat had dried up beyond repair. He said the only thing that could've possibly saved him –saved _them_.

"I will." He breathed. "But not tonight."

Hermione was livid. "Go home, Draco. Go home and don't ever come back."

Draco wanted to say more, but Hermione had retreated from him and headed in the direction of her bedroom. The door slammed shut shortly after and he knew better than to go after her this time around. No amount of sensual pleasures would be enough to placate her. Aside from that fact, it wasn't what she needed nor would it reverse her decision of breaking up with him. Instead Draco took out his wand and waved it over all of the heartache that was still on the ground. All of the items except for one bag full of trinkets bought that day were shrunk to a portable size. Once they were inside the bag Draco took it in his hand and left Hermione's house by Floo.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Okay, so I definitely have to take a moment and say this: YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. The amount of reads this story has been getting, reviews including those from guests, favorites, and followers, it's been great. So thanks a bunch ^_^

This is absolutely my favorite chapter. I love it because Draco kind of gets "slapped in the face" so to speak. First by his best friend in a very candid, nonchalant way, and then by Hermione in a very gut-wrenching way. The next chapter will be the last and you'll get to find out whether they stay apart or miraculously get back together.

-WP


	4. Reality-Struck

Had Hermione not (involuntarily) taken yesterday off, she certainly would've done so today. She had gone to bed an absolute wreck, but she knew in heart that she had made the right decision. Draco was sweet, yes. Romantic, absolutely. Caring, that too. But all of those qualities depended on the situation and Hermione strove for stability, not unpredictability. Perhaps her spectacle last night was enough to make him realize that she was a privilege, not a convenience.

At the end of the day Hermione made it home in one piece. She had seen plenty of magical accidents to keep herself busy. But as she stepped through her fireplace and remembered where she had tossed every imaginable thing Draco had ever given her, she frowned. It didn't last for long however as she noticed a small note sitting on her sofa. Hermione instantly recognized it as Draco's handwriting and a war raged within her as to whether or not to open it. Before she drove herself insane she snatched it up and read it.

 _Let me prove it. Dinner. Malfoy Manor. 8pm._

 _Draco xx_

Hermione looked at the clock just above her mantle and saw that it was seven. The only reason she considered going was because he wanted to "prove it" to her. Whatever that meant. She wholly expected to walk into a room full of expensive gifts that she was now ashamed to say that she had once accepted as suitable means of saying sorry. But as she walked through the fireplace of Malfoy Manor what she saw –or _who_ rather was completely unexpected.

"Granger, your jaw is hitting the floor." Blaise chuckled when he saw her. Despite his words she couldn't help but let her mouth hang open.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Hermione asked, her defenses up in full force.

"Well, for starters I'm Draco's best friend. Second, I was invited for dinner."

"Really…? And are…Draco's other friends here as well?"

"Not all. Not the crazy ones, more specifically." Blaise smiled, flashing a set of perfectly straight and unbelievably white teeth.

Hermione stared at him warily and then darted her eyes around him to inspect the rest of the premises. "Where's Draco?"

"Out on the lanai making sure everything's set. He sent me to fetch you."

Blaise stretched out his hand to lead her away from the fireplace, but Hermione stood frozen. He noticed this and smiled yet again. "Don't worry, Granger. I won't bite. Slytherin's honor."

Hermione scoffed in her head, thinking that "Slytherin's honor" did nothing in the way of soothing her. But if Draco trusted him enough for her to be left alone with him then she was up for it. She gave him her hand so that he could very gentlemanly take her from the fireplace and towards the corridor that would take them out to the lanai. As they walked only their shoes could be heard. Blaise side-glanced at the woman beside him whose gaze was kept straight ahead. He couldn't help but be amused by her.

"You're tense."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm attuned to women." Blaise said simply. Hermione looked up at him curiously as he continued. "Spend enough time wooing the female species and you begin to recognize the subtle mannerisms that all women share despite individual differences."

Hermione rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "Well, aren't you cocky…"

"A trait that I treasure dearly,"

The length of the corridor to Malfoy Manor's lanai was a long one. It spanned the length of the entire West Wing and would take another few minutes before they reached it. Hermione took this time to ask her burning question.

"Why did you come?"

"Because Draco asked. That, and because I don't want him to lose you."

" _Pardon?_ " Hermione asked in disbelief. Blaise halted their steps and turned to look at her directly. He stared her up and down which made her feel uncomfortable, but a resigned sigh and a ruffle of his perfect hair somehow soothed her. Possibly because it was an action that Draco indulged in frequently.

"I won't pretend that I particularly fancied the idea that Draco had chosen you for a lover. I didn't necessarily hate it either, but rather was just baffled. I tried to talk him out of it, naturally, but he told me to sod off. I did. And a year later you're still all he bloody talks about. If you leave him, he'll be a blithering mess."

"And if I stay I'll be a pissed off witch." Hermione challenged. "Neither of us wins here, Zabini."

"You both will soon enough." Blaise said as he motioned for them to resume their walk. "He loves you, Granger, and he's trying."

"He always tries."

"Not like this he hasn't."

Hermione would've turned to look at Blaise had they not finally reached the lanai. He grinned at her once he saw the look on her face and then continued walking out onto the lanai and clasping hands with one Theodore Nott. Draco was giving a house elf a command and then finally realized that she was there once the elf had disappeared. He smiled, albeit nervously, and went over to her.

"Hermione,"

"Draco," Hermione greeted. She kept staring past his head at Blaise and Theodore and at the married couple. The wife she knew worked at St. Mungo's with her but in a different department. "Draco, what is this?"

"Dinner party," He replied casually. His eyes quickly darted to the ground as he swallowed deeply. "I said I wanted to prove it to you. That I loved you more than my self-image."

"Y-yes, yes you did."

"Well," Draco smiled as he held out his arm to her. "Let's get to it then."

Hermione linked her arm with his and the moment she did all eyes were on her. The silence was deafening. She had always imagined what it would've been like to be in the company of the very people Draco tried so hard to keep her away from. This, the curious stares, expectant smirks and daresay _smiles_ , were of the things she imagined. Healer Norris reaching out for her hand, saying it was her pleasure to finally meet face to face _and then_ proceed to ask about her thoughts on the new prospective uses of dragon saliva to treat wounds, was not. Hermione could see a sigh of relief escape from Draco's lips at this exchange and also the tightening of his lips throughout the entire dinner.

She couldn't hold it against him –his sudden bouts of rigidity when someone began to speak, someone's eyes glanced Hermione's way, or as a not-so-well-hidden undertone rose to the surface. She became just as tense, perhaps even angry and ready to rebut anything she thought to be inappropriate or a supposed imperceptible wisecrack. Out of the four "upper circle" guests, Blaise was the most tolerable, or perhaps the best actor. It was utterly ridiculous.

Hermione peered at Draco from the corner of her eye and she wondered desperately why these people meant so much to him. Was the life of the social elite so rich in luxury that it was worth the insurmountable amount of fakeness that practically gagged her? She dared to ask Draco both of these questions when dinner was over and Blaise was the remaining guest. She heard the man scoff and then laugh despite how far down the lanai he was, but Hermione didn't care whether he heard or not. He had the ability to be very blunt with her, so she realized, and figured that he could handle a few curt comments of her own.

"I couldn't leave the 'social elite,' as you so call it, even if I wanted to. And no, I don't want to." Draco added. He sighed and leaned against the wall of the Manor. "It's not that easy. A name may not mean anything to you, but for me it does. Money, power, resources, connections… Without any of that I have _nothing_."

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. "That's barbaric and equally archaic."

"I agree, but very real nonetheless."

"Then why be with me?" Hermione took a moment to motion to the vast land behind him and even pointed a thumb back at Blaise. "If all of this is so important to you, then why stay with me for as long as you have? Why be with me at all?"

"I could ask the same of you." Draco countered. "You have your own life that you disrupted for me."

Hermione bit her bottom lip. "…I asked first."

"…You were different. You were forbidden, and you were lively." He smiled, his eyes drifting off as though remembering a dream. "You infuriated me to no end when everyone else in my life tried to appease me because of who I was. And I loved you, _still_ love you, because you loved just me and not what my name said of me." He sighed then and prodded her. "Your turn."

"Well, it certainly wasn't because you were different." Hermione chuckled. She took a deep breath and stared up at the night sky. "You wanted me."

Draco cocked a brow in the air. "That's it?"

Hermione paused before answering and then nodded. "That's it. You, Draco Malfoy, genuinely wanted someone that you were supposed to hate. I thought you had changed. But every time you shunned me from your life it tore me apart."

"And I'm ashamed of that." Draco said quickly. He reached for her arms and slowly uncrossed them so that he could hold her hands. "Sometimes – _most times_ , I did it to protect myself. Other times I did it to protect you." He glanced at the table where they had dinner. "You saw what happened tonight, however _tame_ it was."

Hermione nodded. "I did. And I hope that _you saw_ how I handled it. I'm not afraid of your life, Draco. And far be it from me to endorse Malfoy tendencies, but the social elite should be trying to be in _your_ good graces for the aforementioned money, power, resources, and connections. Not the other way around."

Draco blinked rapidly. Hermione smiled broadly and squeezed his hands. "I love you, Draco. Don't make me break up with you every other month just for you to get it. Consider yourself warned."

Draco, stunned beyond measure, could do nothing but nod. Hermione sighed contentedly, let go of his hands and then began walking away. "Where are you going?"

Hermione stopped, looked at him over her shoulder and produced a coy expression. "To bed. It's been a long night and I'm tired. I'll see you there. Goodnight, Zabini." She added before making her way back down the corridor and away from the lanai. Draco stared down the hall after her form before he could no longer see her. A clap on his shoulder from Blaise brought him out of his hypnotized state.

"I see why you like her."

"Love, mate." Draco corrected. "Why I love her."

"That too," Blaise agreed. "Don't mess it up."

From that point on Draco had no intention to do so. He had just been reminded by Hermione Granger of all people that he was Draco _Malfoy_. He defined the social elite that he was so afraid of. He did what he wanted, when he wanted, and with _whomever_ he wanted. That whomever had stuck through all of his stupid antics. That whomever had just boldly faced a group of individuals who were tempted to call her an unforgiveable name. That whomever loved him. And that whomever had just walked up to his bedroom suite.

Draco couldn't have loved Hermione more.

* * *

 **Author's note:** And that, my friends, is the end of A Loveless Cycle.

Happy that they're together? Mad? Somewhere in between? Quite frankly I expect to see a whole range of reactions as Draco and Hermione's love life is never an easy thing to write/describe. I briefly considered keeping them apart, but it was REALLY brief. The rest of the story just wrote itself on its own and I could really see this happening. Now, that's not to say the rest of their relationship would be perfect. Perhaps Draco messes up again. Perhaps they'd break up for good later down the road. Who knows? But for now Draco and Hermione have come to an unspoken agreement and are stable for the moment, however brief it may be.

Thanks once again for reading and I SO appreciate it. This story hit 100 alerts last night and I smiled from ear to ear. Feedback like what I've been getting really spurs a writer on :). If you're interested, I'll be posting a new story called **"Changing Fate."** A Dramione of course where someone (I won't say who) goes back in time to kill Draco as revenge for some (I won't say what) unfortunate event he eventually commits. It'll either be up tomorrow or next week, but most likely tomorrow.

-WP :D


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